EP04 - Going the Extra Mile: Emotional Intelligence in Sales
In high-stakes environments, where outcomes carry weight and decisions shape futures, the ability to sell is rarely about persuasion. It is about trust. And trust, I’ve come to believe, is built or broken through emotion.
In this Episode:
Francois Jacquemin shares how emotional intelligence shapes strategic outcomes, boardroom dynamics, and leadership communication.
We often reduce sales to logic: products, benefits, numbers, and timing. That’s important. However, in real executive settings - boardrooms, tenders, and town halls - it’s never the data that moves the room. It’s the emotional current running through the dialogue.
Selling Is Storytelling.
Whether we’re selling a product, an idea, or a vision for the future, we are telling a story. People don’t respond to numbers alone. They respond to the feeling behind them. They respond to conviction. They respond to humanity.
I’ve had final presentations where we were outmatched technically. But what won the room was a shared emotional experience, a sense that we understood the other side. That we’d done the work. That we were present, committed, and prepared to go the extra mile. Emotion made the difference.
Emotional Awareness Is a Strategic Skill.
There are moments in every conversation, especially when tension rises, where logic won’t get you out. It’s the emotional intelligence in the room that determines the outcome.
I’ve led presentations where things got heated, even adversarial. The key wasn’t to overpower the emotion, but to meet it, acknowledge it, contain it, and then gently steer it toward a more constructive space.
That’s not softness. That’s leadership.
Presence Cannot Be Faked.
Emotional connection isn’t a script. It comes from attention, experience, and improvisation. In person, you feel the micro-signals: eye contact, posture, and tone shifts. You adapt. You react. And you earn your place in the room.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, when everything moved online, I felt the cost. The emotional depth wasn’t there. Even with great content, something essential was missing. We need to be truly present for trust to take root.
Leadership Means Making Space.
Some of my most valuable lessons came not from commanding the room, but from stepping back. Giving others space to speak, to be seen, to lead. Emotionally intelligent sales and leadership is about creating conditions for others to thrive.
You don’t sell alone. And you don’t build trust by being the loudest. You do it by being the most grounded.
Closing Is a Feeling, Not a Force.
When the energy is right, the closing moment arrives naturally. I don’t push. I build toward it. Because if the decision is made from a place of pressure or discomfort, the future relationship will suffer.
Selling is not manipulation. It’s alignment.
Timecode:
00:00 Introduction to Emotional Selling
01:03 The Importance of Trust in Sales
01:50 Building Emotional Connections
03:26 Case Study: Exhilarating Sales Experience
05:48 Case Study: Creative Approach in Sales
06:13 Establishing Emotional Connections
06:28 The Importance of Genuine Emotions
06:56 Challenges of Virtual Presentations
07:09 Reading and Reacting to the Audience
07:45 Learning from Feedback
08:33 Handling Critical Situations
10:10 Sharing the Spotlight
11:14 The Art of Closing
Francois Links:
Apple Podcast
Transcript:
Why I'm, I'm, I'm, selling, uh, emotionally.I would like to split this into two parts. The, the sale part is, um, is, is about approaching people. There's a, You you sell a, product, you sell a,a, a, concept.You sell the North Star,you sell a story to the board.So it's a, there's a big, big, uh,scope of.Um, situation where selling is, is, is taking place.And in each of those selling story,um,I tend to use emotion at first. I'm an emotional guy. Uh, and not, uh, I, I thought I was cold, but I'm not at all. So it is just like any feedback from people.Um, I,I think. I'm convinced that every sale is coming with. A, a story and, and people need to relate to that story.It's about trusting. You can, you can trust The number, you can trust the story. You can trust an outcome. Uh, you can, there's, there's, a lot of trust that need to be built, uh, or example of trust that need to be built.and, um, the way I tend to build trust is to establish an emotional link with the audience. with the person in front of me, this link needs to be,um, normall ypositive, but there's also adversarial moment where where discussion extremely negative, heated, um,a lot of arguments are contributing each other and and, and there's no middle ground.Uh, The key is to establish that middle ground. So even then it's, especially when it's negative that the emotion at the highest. and even at that time,it has to be a moment where emotions are recognized and then put into a emotion towards something which is more positive. It may not be, you know, uh, a, an extremely positive outcome or end of the discussion.in terms of emotion.But it cannot be on, on on the very negative side. So how can we just say, okay, that is said, and building something, uh, a a solution together. So whether it's to establish the emotional bridge or to break down, uh, and, and get out of this,uh, downward spiral of negative emotion,it's about,it's about emotion.I tend to.You know, with, with a one-to-one, it's different. With a one-to-one. It's about establishing a, uh, we know somebody that together, the, the same person, uh, we know, uh, a concept. We've been to a place together. There's memory that has been shared. We have a concept. So there's always about bringing a a similar experience. a memory,a positive memory. On both sides, that, that, will, will, will be, will be driving something, um, positive and and create this emotion that we can build on and, and establish a, a, a trust basis.
I have, uh, a couple of example I'd like to share, but one, one I loved very much is, uh, it, it, it was exhilarating. It was, uh, a, a big, a big company. I was working for German company at the time, and, uh. The company's a huge US based,um, uh,juggernaut. and, uh. we had made an offer, uh, in a, in a request for proposal process, a, tendering process,which was okay-ish at best. And,uh, we improved the offer between the moment we filed the first tender, the first offer, and the the finalist presentation. And during the finals presentation, the audience, we were in a small room, a bit, a small room. we are, we're in like like now, but with the three of us. And then there were like, maybe, you know, 25 of us.So it was like very, very crowded.And,um,the, the discussion was very intense, very, very positive, but very intense.They asked me, Francois, why did you change? The, the offer from the from the first offer you've made And, and, and, and today.And rather than just going through all the technical details and, and, and, you know, objective ways of explaining why we changed it,I just said, you know, these are, you know, this is so many letters in your company. And these are the, the, the, all the reasons why.So starting with, with each letter and, and,and so on, and, and, uh, and it was exhilarating because everybody. Got the feeling that we've we've gone the, the, extra mile, and actually we did go the extra mile. So the message came across perfectly. And actually those people couldn't care less about all the details. You know, they they, they were not experts in the field. What they wanted is that they have the feeling that we went the extra mile and that we will be going the extra mile in the future. So if they choose us. We were going to execute exactly the way they, they wanted to, or even over exceed expectation because this is something we've done now. And, and and that that was an, you know, an, an amazing, an amazing moment.And they were,they were, clapping because of that. So that,that, that was cool.
I've I've does the same also with a,going to uh, to a final,uh, final presentation with the jeans. So it was a a company And so I didn't go there with a suit or so I just went there in, in in the jeans.And, uh, and I, I've shown it during the presentation, you know, we wrote the talk and, uh, I I told them, you know, be creative. Do whatever you, you,you can do best, and let us do good old, boring, you know, insurance company. Do what we can do best. So putting all the process in place, all the pipes in, place so that you guys. Can, can, can, uh, sleep very well at night and, and it was extremely well received as well. It was super, super cool to to to have those moments.
Uh, So, uh, the emotional link is, uh, can be created in, in many different ways it has to come also, uh, from the heart, but it has to be genuine. If, uh,and you know, let's be honest, when I went to that uh, big American firm. when I started the meeting, I had no idea that I was going to do what, what I did in, in that moment. So emotions need to be felt.It's, We try to do finalist presentation on, uh, during COVID on, um, or, or meetings, uh,in in, during COVID. But the emotion don't transpire. They don't go through the screen. No. Sometimes a little bit, but sometimes it's not working. in the audience. When you have the audience, you have the body language, you have the movement of people, you have, the way people look on the floor, don't look on the floor.Or they smile at you, or there's a person who is interested or actually couldn't care less. and at that moment, either you wake them up or, but there's something that you can do and you need to be able to improvise and improvisation comes from. My God, such a long time, uh, list of, of failure of moments where, oh my God, what am I gonna do? What do I do here? And so on. So it's about fine tuning once uh, once um, um, way of acting in,in front of an audience. That's something that I've learned from. Uh. A lady, she was a business partner of a, a previous firm, sorry, a long time ago here in Luxembourg. And I came back from actually the October 1st in in Germany, came back in the. morning, but it was reasonable and I could do a four hours presentation.And at the end of presentation, without knowing that it was a very well received, she gave the feedback, to, to, to to one of my colleague that it, uh, it was, it, was great. And that's that moment that I've realized that all the. Or the moment or the, the the frustration moment I have in front of an audience knowing is it working, is it not working? And so on. Then, Then, you start taking a, bit of you know, positive feedback, a bit of trust, and then you build on that. And then there was of course, lots of, of negative feedback or positive feedback. There was a, uh, a gentleman, it was the, the global head of communication in that German firm I was working for. And, uh, we had a, a management training. And it was, uh, to to, to lead a town hall in, uh, in, uh, in, in a fake situation. But the people, you know, in the audience were actually real employee of that company, of the unions actually. So extremely critical. And they were there to actually give us the hardesttime possible.so uh, we knew that, we anticipated that. and um, we, I I started the meeting, We were a group and with our strategy started the meeting and, uh, I took. Because it was a tunnel, it was a real, I, mean, real fake company situation. And I took my computer and I say, oh, you know, uh, you've done such a great job. Epsilon here is a computer to re reward you for, you know, all the good work you've done So now you have good computer, you can work better, and so on. And then it put them off balance. And uh, what I did also, and it was planned, but it was a bit more luck or. Physical, I, I had the feeling that I'd done my, my, my, my time in, in, in, in front of that audience and a colleague to, to, to, to, to step there. And it would've been easy for me to stay where I was in front of the audience. But what I did, I,I took several step back without knowing, just naturally I did that. And, um.The feedback from that the head of communication after that and he said, Francois, you know, it was great what you did there. you probably did not notice. But that's something that I found great is that you, you take a step back so you, give the light to other people is not being a delight, Uh, in being in front of the audience It's actually creating the delight for other people as well. Something that I've always remembered.
And when we were doing all those, turn halls of presentation in, uh, in, the last firm I was I was managing, there was, a moment,of course, as a leader, you need to stand in front of the audience, create that, that, that link, and, uh,and, and, and give the message across. Whether it's good message or bad message is always a message that you need to give or messages.But the key was that it was not all about me. The, team needed to also to intervene and we we selected every time.several subjects that the team were going to present to the rest of the team, what they were doing, what worked, what didn'twork.Whatever it was, it had to come from them, not, not from me.And, um, the emotions. they're not always coming from one person. The emotion they need to be fostered and, and and put forward. And, that, that's part of the The selling, uh, if, if you want, but also part of the, of the,of the, the team building because you need to sell to, your team where you're going.Onelast element,Uh,closing.I, I'm not somebody who's pushing people to, to sign a contract. You know, if, if the, the, the, the, party there, I, I will, I will put all my heart into selling it. I will give, you know, all the argument. I will sometimes over explain.But the the final moment has to come from the person,from, from, from the team. So the the closing,is, is. ing ground, in, in, in the story, but not is provoked but not pushed. It's pulled. And, uh, that's something that if The emotion are wrong at the time of the closing, then good luck afterwards to, uh, to manage that situation because it's going to be problems after problems after problems.